outed.

November was a month of not much blogging. I wanted to blame it on being busy, or the guilt of having too many other things to do that I didn't end up doing anyway, but that wasn't it.

The truth is, I was outed as a blogger on Facebook. A friend** from my hometown who had absolutely no idea how hard I struggle with the idea of "putting things out there", so to speak, mentioned me and the fact that I blog in her own desire to participate in '30 Days of Giving Thanks'. She was trying to do a good thing by giving me credit, and I truly, completely appreciated that.

But, suddenly, my real life and internet life collided and I was very, very uncomfortable with that. I was back living again in that small town of 700 people and everyone knew my every move.

I was back in the fishbowl.

Granted, she didn't even link me, and most people who saw her post probably couldn't find my blog if they tried. There isn't a lot of searchable material on it that links me to me. Still, they now knew it existed, and that was enough. Too much.

Every time I tried to update here, I was blocked. The words just would not come. In my head, every word would be judged. Watched. Picked apart and criticized. I would again be the fodder for gossip that I had escaped upon moving away.

Today it finally occurred to me that I really don't care what those people think. I have --and lead-- a good life. I have nothing to be ashamed about. I don't talk about things here that I wouldn't tell someone in person. People are always going to be critical -- that I can't escape. But, I don't have to let them bring me down directly or indirectly.

And, I'm not going to, either. Not any longer.



**I know you are probably going to read this, and will know who you are. I'm not mad at you at all! Never was! Please don't feel badly. I just had to get over my own issues about blogging. No worries :)